I LOVE ME JOHN from Middleton

'I LOVE ME JOHN' is well known in every pub, chippy and chemist in North Manchester. He staggers around the town of Middleton, constantly telling people how georgous he is, usually whilst uncontrollably spitting as he has not got a single tooth in his mouth. I used to see this guy often, stumbling along down my street...many people would go out of their way to avoid him, otherwise they would have to put up with this drunken-bum chatting shit to them (usually ranting and raving that the chemist had refused to give him any more painkillers). Last I heard, he was dating the woman from the local chippy but she got rid of him anyway when she woke up one morning and I-Love-Me-John had shit all over her toilet floor like a dog.